Saturday, December 12, 2009

When Will the Hurting Stop?!

December 12
Delays, delays, deLAYS! Let's train already!
This week I was at the doctor's hoping to get an all clear on my training. Instead I got disappointment. X-ray images of my back show a laundry list of of bad, bad, bad. When Dr. Brady came in to talk about my x-rays he was really excited... he said they were 'COOL'! I thought, okay, he's seen the fused biggie! So I didn't exspect to see what he had to show me. What a MESS!
His diagnoses: Degrenative Joint Disease, Arthritis, & 3, THREE old compression fractures...on top of a fully fused pelvic joint, mis-aligned hips & the ankle injury (which was the original reason for seeing Dr. Brady)!
Anyone who knows me, knows that I was 'smashed' by a horse at age 15 breaking my back & dislocating my pelvis and knows I have bad knees, AND, knows that I don't put my injuries out in front of my goals. I've taken bad news before and kept trucking, why not this time?
Well, for some reason, I've been feeling quite down about this diagnoses. DJD & Arthritis?, that's for OLD people, not me...I'm only 31! I have dreams people, big, BIG DREAMS!
For a doctor to sit there and tell me that my aspirations will destroy my already bad back was rough to hear. As I sit hear, I fell the sting of arthritis reminding me of those words, "You'll never be able to do this.". It's enough to make me want to punch someone...and punch them HARD! -any volunteers ;) ?
So what do I do?
I'll tell you what I AM doing...
I'm running with my team this February, then, I'm racing with my sister this May, and after that... I'll pull up my wheel chair and knitt a sweater! WHATEVER! I'm going to RUN, if I have to replace both knees and end up pushing myself in a wheel chair...I'm going to RUN while I still can! I'm going to love every mile I get out of this body, and then I'll replace the broken pieces and get a few more miles.
...dang my back hurts. ;)
I learned a long time ago that I can do anything I work at, I'm just going to have to get creative.
Okay, I'm pumped and ready to figure this out...
...ANY IDEA'S???