Sunday, March 13, 2011

Brand Spankin' New

New Year, New Season, New Ankle!                                                                  Well, the thing about new stuff is that it never really lasts very long before it gets that first ding.  It happens all the time in the Jones household, we had our brand spankin' new stainless steal refrigerator no more than a week when our dear little Jet took his golf club to it.  Oh yes, and our 'new to us' Denali with a sweet leather was about a month before Jilian took a pencil to the headrests and Jet stuffed two discs in the DVD system, and it's never been the same.  Such is life.        I use to listen to my dad grumble, "You can nice or you can have kids!" and I always 'knew' what he meant, but I didn't 'KNOW' what he was talking about exactly.  Well Dad, //shaking head somberly// I 'KNOW' what you mean!  :)
So guess who got a brand spankin' new ankle for Christmas?!  (ME!) <<<<~~ That's right!  I DID!  Aaaaaand it took all of an hour out of my cast to slip and fall off of my crutches and come crashing down right on top my BRAND NEW ANKLE!! >:-(  I guess that falls right in line the frig the Denali and with my nasal surgery that was unwittingly undone by one well intended person, who shall remain nameless, that head butted me right in the nose three days after surgery.
~Just after the cast came off~
~After my slip & fall~

I know it looks bad, but believe me when I say it felt MUCH worse!  At this point post surgery I was just starting to get around on crutches and getting ready to take on the house and the kids on my own.  Being 'laid up' is the worst and I wouldn't have been able to do it without my family.  Aunt Haze took me in for surgery and provided the post-op entertainment and brought me deliciousness on a tray!  My BGS, Jenn, took on 6 kids and 1 very large and very anxious lap dog while Jared was at work for the first 2 days.  Then my MIL (Carolyn) who I adore and love spent 7 days tending to my 3 kids, 2 boxers and 1 large house full of chores.  She did it with grace and even made it look easy to keep everything in order and the kids happy and harmonious.  Jared took charge after Carolyn left and that's where the pressure to get back on my feet started. 

At first I really did NOT want to go to the gym.
I fought Jared every step of the way. :) (Sorry honey!)  It's not the I don't like to workout, I actually really love to workout, but I hate going to the gym when I'm hurt, out of shape or unmotivated to be there.  I am the type of person that must find my own reason or motivating factor (I refer to as my 'WHY?') that gets me to the gym.  Then I must get to the point where I don't hurt or feel like the hippo in the room before I really start to enjoy my workout.  There once was a time where I felt really beautiful and dare I say 'hot'? at the gym, those days are gone.  Replaced by feelings completely foreign to me.  Old? Plain? Flabby?!  Okay, so flabby is not so new, but I have been feeling old and as though I could be part of the paint on the wall.  
I wish I could say that I was secure enough with myself to 'not care what other people think', but how can I not care when 
>> I CARE !<< 

 As my physical therapy has progressed, I have regained some of my old confidence and with that I have felt more comfortable at the gym, so I'm starting to have fun again and enjoy the punishment.  But with a long recovery still ahead of me I will remain, cautiously, optimistic.

For now, it's back to training in what I can do and I won't worry about what I can't do.
~First training ride post-op~
Bike ride anyone?
(Well, not for reals...I still can't ride on the road just yet!)

Thank you to:
My BGS, Jenn.
To my super MIL, Carolyn.
My fun loving Aunt Haze.
My wonderful husband, Jared.
(Who puts up with my B.S. everyday, and loves me anyway.)

I love you all,